MARRIAGE
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Marriages are traditionally arranged by family
members rather than either the bride or groom!
This practice is particularly prevalent in the rural areas.
Kola nuts, a bitter nut from a tree,
are formally sent by the suitor's family
to the male elders of the bride-to-be,
and if accepted, the courtship begins.
This is all woven together in community prayers for the marriage.
Although Islamic law gives the father the choose his daughter's
husband, without her consent, this is no longer widely
practiced among the MNK. Once the father and elders agree to the
proposal, the young woman is told. |
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Polygamy
has been practiced in this area since pre-Islamic days. Within
Islam, men are legally allowed up to four wives, so long as he is able
to care for each of them equally.
The luckiest young woman is the one who is the first wife of a man
usually 10 years her senior.
It is not unheard of for a girl
of 17 to be married to a man
in his 50s or 60s.
Can you pick out which is wife #1, #2, or #3 in the picture on the
left? |
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Wives are expected to live together in harmony, at
least superficially. They share work responsibilities of the
compound, cooking, laundry, etc., but little else. Often the
first, second, or third wife won't know of the impending arrival of a
new wife until the morning she actually arrives. Resentment
simmers just below the surface. The crowning glory of any woman
is the ability to produce children, especially sons. |
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Passage into Adulthood
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Usually associated with the physical act of
circumcision, the Mandinka practice a rite of passage which marks the
beginning of adulthood for MNK children.
Boys and girls, ranging in age from four to fourteen (pre-pubescent),
are circumcised separately. In years past, the children spent up
to a year in the bush, but that has been reduced now to coincide with
their physical healing time, between three and four weeks. This
group of children form a special, internal bond, one which remains
throughout life.
During this time, they learn about their adult
social responsibilities and rules of behavior. They learn secret
songs which teach them what it is to be an MNK. These songs
teach them how they are to relate to members of the opposite sex,
including their parents, their siblings, their relatives, and
eventually their spouses, as well as their elders and their peers.
They are cared for and taught by elders of the same sex; these persons
become their life-long sponsors, a very special relationship. |
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Great preparation is made in the village or compound
for the return of the children. A huge celebration marks the
return of these new adults to their families. The children are
given new clothes and treated with new respect by their elders.
Boys and girls are honored with a dance.
One very important rule was learned in the
bush:
never reveal anything you learned in the bush
to a member of the opposite sex.
At this point, the lives of men and women separate. |
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As a result of these traditional teachings, the
Biblical concept of men and women uniting as one in marriage is
totally foreign to the Mandinka mindset.
A woman's loyalty remains to her parents and her family; a man's to
his. What is his is his; what is hers is hers.
Islam does not teach that the marriage union has a spiritual
dimension. |
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Adam said: "This
is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh;
she shall be called woman, for she was taken out of man."
For this reason a man will leave his father and mother
and be united to his wife,
and they will become one flesh.
Genesis 2:23-24
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